What keeps a marriage strong after decades together? For actor Robert Wagner, the answer may have less to do with grand romantic gestures and more to do with a simple habit: continuing to take an interest in the person beside you.At 96, Wagner has offered a glimpse into his enduring relationship with actress Jill St. John, explaining why curiosity and genuine interest remain important in their marriage. The couple, who married in 1990 after beginning their relationship in 1982, have spent decades together, building a partnership that has lasted through personal loss, changing careers and the passage of time. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Wagner described his wife as someone he continues to find fascinating. His words offer a reminder that a long relationship does not mean two people stop discovering things about each other.
The simple habit that keeps a relationship alive
When asked about the secret to their lasting relationship, Wagner pointed to the importance of remaining interested in both life and one’s partner. He described St. John as a very interesting person and emphasised that maintaining interest is important in a relationship. Rather than suggesting that a successful marriage depends on one dramatic secret, his answer focused on an everyday quality that can easily be overlooked as couples grow more familiar with each other. Over time, partners develop routines, learn each other’s habits and become comfortable with predictable patterns. That familiarity can bring security, but it can also lead people to assume they already know everything about one another.Wagner’s perspective suggests a different approach. Continuing to ask questions, listen carefully and remain open to a partner’s changing interests can help keep a relationship engaging. People evolve throughout their lives, and the person someone married years ago may have new ideas, ambitions and experiences to share today. His comments do not offer a formula that guarantees a lasting marriage. Instead, they highlight the value of treating a long-term partner as an individual who is still worth getting to know.
From an early Hollywood connection to marriage
Wagner and St. John first met in the late 1950s, when both were young contract players at 20th Century Fox. Their professional paths later crossed in projects including the 1967 films *Banning* and *How I Spent My Summer Vacation*. Their personal relationship developed much later. Following the death of Wagner’s wife, actress Natalie Wood, in November 1981, Wagner and St. John reconnected at a dinner party. Their relationship progressed quickly, and they began dating in 1982 before marrying in 1990.A friend of St. John described the early stages of their relationship to PEOPLE in 1982, recalling how Wagner began calling her and how the two continued dating. Their story shows that relationships can take unexpected turns. Although they had known each other for years, it was only later that their connection developed into a lasting partnership.St. John also once offered a playful glimpse into their relationship when asked whether she wanted to appear on screen opposite Wagner more often. Her response was that she would rather play with him at home, a remark that conveyed affection without making their private life the subject of grand declarations.
A family shaped by love and loss
Wagner’s relationship with St. John began after a deeply painful period in his life. Natalie Wood drowned in November 1981 near Catalina Island off the coast of Southern California. Wagner and Wood had a daughter, Courtney, and he is also stepfather to Natasha, Wood’s daughter from her marriage to producer Richard Gregson. The family has remained part of Wagner’s public life. In a recent birthday message shared on Instagram, he celebrated Natasha and expressed his and St. John’s pride in the woman she had become, praising the joy, laughter and love she brought to their lives.The message offered a warm glimpse into their family bond and the relationships that have continued to matter throughout Wagner’s life. While personal loss forms part of his history, Wagner’s comments about his marriage focus on the present: the importance of appreciating the person who shares everyday life with you. His reflections suggest that affection is not only about remembering shared milestones but also about continuing to value the individual standing beside you.
Why curiosity matters in a long marriage
Wagner’s emphasis on interest offers a useful lesson for couples at any stage of a relationship. Curiosity can mean asking about a partner’s day and genuinely listening to the answer. It can involve taking an interest in a new hobby, revisiting a shared activity or making space for conversations that go beyond household responsibilities. It also means resisting the assumption that familiarity makes effort unnecessary. Even after years together, partners can surprise one another, change their views and discover new interests.Wagner has also spoken warmly about Mike Myers, his co-star in the Austin Powers film series, describing him as talented, warm and interested. The repeated emphasis on being interested in others reflects a quality he values beyond marriage alone. Wagner and St. John’s relationship has lasted through decades of personal and professional change. While every couple’s experience is different, his message is straightforward: lasting connection requires more than simply sharing a home or a history. Sometimes, it begins with continuing to look at the person you love and wanting to know a little more about who they are today.
